a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
