Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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