Where is the hickey?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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