um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
