drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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