Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize