I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
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