Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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