Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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