if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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