i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
