I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I came so hard my ears popped.
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