dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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