SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
