Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
