He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize