Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize