Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
