help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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