It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
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Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
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I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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