I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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