The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
