I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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