I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I just found puke in my bra..
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
