This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
