This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
