you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
