I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just want to make out with him forever
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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