Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(858): View more from California

I like my sex mixed with concussions.

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(626): View more from California

I bet he comes in French.

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(585): View more from New York

bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning

(1-585): View more from New York

oh god.. jail?

(585): View more from New York

better, on the catwalk of the auditorium

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations

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(564): View more from Washington

He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns

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(916): View more from California

Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?

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(408): View more from California

she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her

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(607): View more from New York

It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"

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