'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
the raccoons are back...
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