My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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