It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
