Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
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Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
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Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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