Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
