He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
