He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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