I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
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I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
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idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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