I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
