fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
