hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
