watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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