it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
