Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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