why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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