I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
