I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I am full of burrito and curiosity
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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