you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
as a side note pls kill me
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
