I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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