Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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