Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
