i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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