Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
do herpes really smell.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize