I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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