More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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