Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
