so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
