you turned your livingroom into a bong?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
