Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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