And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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