Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
