I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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