He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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