lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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